FL Democrat Hastings Plays The Sex Toy Card On Texas

FL Democrat Hastings Plays The Sex Toy Card On Texas

Javier Manjarres
Javier Manjarres
February 9, 2015

Leave it to Democrat Congressman Alcee Hastings to make real dopey and insulting remarks towards others, just so he can grab media attention.
Always one to complain that he doesn't get enough exposure, but Hastings recently go a whole heck of a lot of attention when he called the entire state of Texas "crazy."

To add to that little jab at Texans, Hastings decided to pull out his political sex toy and told CNN that the one of the reason he call Texas "crazy" was because of a law that exists in that state.

"One of their cities has a law that says that women can only have six dildos, and the certain size of things, and if that ain't crazy, I don't know what is," the Miramar Democrat said. It's unclear what "things" Hastings was referring to.

"I love Texans, but I do not like their policy makers who are in the majority," he said. "The simple fact of the matter is, evidently, I touched a nerve deep in the heart of Texas. And I would ask them to tie a yellow rose around it and do like Frozen and 'Let it go.'"

Don't expect an apology from Hastings anytime soon, or ever. This is just what wants, attention. If he apologizes, the controversy ends, and so does his fifteen minutes of fame.

"Consider the fact that I'm a native Floridian, and that I dislike it," he told CNN. "Listen, I wouldn't live in a lot of places. Texas happens to be one of them. I have cautioned about living in Florida, and I'm not so they're I'm going to stay there."

But wait, doesn't Florida have similar dumb and obscure laws?

I did some digging around and found a few:

  • The term “motor vehicle” was revised to exclude swamp buggies, deregulating the primary mode of transportation in the state.

    The state constitution allows for freedom of speech, a trial by jury, and pregnant pigs to not be confined in cages.

    One may not commit any “unnatural acts” with another person.

    Unmarried couples may not commit “lewd acts” and live together in the same residence.

    Corrupting the public morals is defined as a nuisance, and is declared a misdemeanor offense.

    Doors of all public buildings must open outwards.

    It is illegal to sell your children.

    You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

    Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

    Oral sex is illegal.

    A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

    You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

    If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

    Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

    It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

    Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

    Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

    It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

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Javier Manjarres

Javier Manjarres

Javier Manjarres is a nationally renowned award-winning political journalist. Diverse New Media, Corp. publishes Floridianpress.com, Hispolitica.com, shark-tank.com, and Texaspolitics.com He enjoys traveling, playing soccer, mixed martial arts, weight-lifting, swimming, and biking. Javier is also a political consultant, and has also authored "BROWN PEOPLE," which is a book about Hispanic Politics. Learn more at www.brownpeople.org Email him at Diversenewmedia@gmail.com

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